have we had sex?

speaking of awkward moments:

a few years back during homecoming at the great bethune cookman college founded by dr. mary mcleod bethune – i ran into an old flame (an “old piece” if you will)
i often refer to her as “the whore that turned me into a cold-hearted heart thief” but for now we will simply call her “an old flame.”
at this homcoming’s “alumni ball” we met on the dance floor and did a little jig, cut a rug, and bumped booties a few times. i had seagram’s vodka rushing through the veins with a mix of blood thinning medication and probably a couple of shots of tequila thanks to my line brother who we usually find in a dark corner sipping on a bottle of cyclone.
freddie jackson comes on:
ROCK ME TONIGHT FOR OLD TIMES SAKE
fxck fxck fxck!!!

you can’t mix this song with liquor!
when this song gets mix with the shxt i had in my system, somebody’s daughter need to me wrapped around my waist – slow grinding like this was prom 1987.
before he got to the: YOUR HAIR – THE PERFUME YOU WEAR – BRINGS BACK MEMORIES
she looked me dead in the eyes and the convo went like this:
whore: why didn’t we have sex when we were together?
me: i don’t know.
whore: well we’re both drunk now. i have a room upstairs. let’s do it now and blame it on homecoming and alcohol.
me: i’ll definitely be calling you when this party’s over. i can’t leave my old heads down here as drunk as they are.
whore: don’t forget.
WAIT!!!!
the problem was: WE DID HAVE SEX. MULTIPLE TIMES!
how could she not remember?
two possibilities:
1. when i was a freshman – she was a junior and i was intimidated and had performance anxiety so i wasn’t as great in bed BACK THEN.
2. she was a bigger whore than i thought and lost track of her conquests.
so anyway…i definitely didn’t do it.
afterall – this was the girl that ruined me for ever girl that came after. this was the one i trusted. who would ever think that she would spread like mustard. i became cold-hearted and preyed on the weak – leaving them talking about me to their friends while i scrolled by on their screensaver butt nekkid.
true story!
there were a few i loved – and too many that loved me.
but those were the college days.
we grow up.
but i brought all that up because i actually talked to her the other day. she’s engaged now and happy and looks forward to seeing me at homecoming on the dance floor again. should be great times.
so i leave you with this:
‘we grow up the first day we have our first real laugh – at ourself’
-ethel barrymore

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