so the month of august may find me doing something i haven’t done in years: stressing.
i’m lying. i won’t be stressing, but there will be many decisions that need to be made.
do i stay in los angeles and continue to climb this ladder?
or do i go back to howard university and continue to climb that ladder?
side note: i have what’s known as ataraxia: a state of tranquility free from anxiety and emotional disturbance.
my pros – cons – & bullshxt:
1. i came to los angeles with nothing but an unpaid internship and a gig as a script writer for a film company out of chicago. since being here i’ve developed into a script editor & evaluator, a playwright, and socialite.
2. howard has fxcked me over in a major way at least 4 times – no lube. the only thing going for howard is the degree at the end of the program – 2 years from now.
3. los angeles is not the east coast. no one here knows how to hustle and grind to achieve – except me – and 7 others.
4. i have a better chance of making my dreams happen out here than back there – a much better chance.
5. i hate los angeles.
6. there are people in dc i love, like and care for.
fxck! what should i do?
so this weekend is coming to a close in a little under two hours and i must say:
i will miss it.
i had a great time in parks – restaurants – and ikea couches.
i’ve fallen back in love with a chef that i’ve known since the days of olde:
he knows the way to my heart is through my stomach. (no brokeback)
a great way to top it all off would have been to go and see esther’s little ass in that movie ‘orphan.’
i hear there’s something wrong with her.
i don’t know about you – but i feel it may scare me a little bit.
have me scare to look at adopted kids and shxt.
we shall see.
i think i’ll try to sneak into the theater at universal city walk.
hopefully a girl with low self esteem is working at the ticket window – that’s usually the case!
so tonight i kick it with my pseudo celebrity friends while searching for new folks in my los angeles network.
i can’t hang with the lazy and socially retarded – so it’s hard making friends in los angeles.
the friends i have here are from the south or the east
la born & raised friends with the spirit of a hustler
and the moxy of a grinder.
and i leave you with this picture and question:
who will cry for the little boy?