low self esteem

okay – so i fxcking need a haircut!
the self esteem seems to be slipping away from me…
got me stuck in the house thinking everybody can still see through my window and laugh…

yeah right!

you folks know i got the self esteem of a porn star.
as a matter of fact i think today i will wear a speedo and head to the intersection of wilshire & vermont and stop traffic.

but i still need a haircut!

—–

so today is just beginning for me @ 4:00pm.
i’ve been bullshxtting all day – procrastinating on my shower.

now don’t get me fxcked up or anything.
i know how to appreciate a shower – but i just haven’t been motivated today yet!

again…the haircut.
but i’m going in there in a sec.

and…i usually cut my own hair, but i need the back faded now, and i can’t do that myself. and if i could, i’d refuse.

—–

in an hour i can be found on wilshire @ wasabi with whoever wants to join me for $1.00 happy hour sushi.
i got a pocket full of legal tender and a hunger for yellow tail and spicy tuna.

lets get it!

—–

my little sister turned 18 today which makes me feel really old.
i think i missed her teen years for the most part.

what’s next for her?
what’s next for me?

i turn 30 when she turns 21
it’ll be a happy year for us both.

i think i’ll be pretty glad to see such an old age. lol.

i remember when i turned 24, all i’d keep thinking was:
damn…biggie was 24 when he died.
but when i was 13 – 24 seemed old as fxck.

ahhh well.

i look forward to old age because i know i’ve accomplished so much – my age will be measured in achievements. not many people can say that. i know TOO MANY 25+ year olds that have done absolutely nothing they’re proud of – excpet maybe graduating college…

but even dummies graduate college.

—–

before i jump in this shower, let me say this:

“to gain that which is worth having – it may be necessary to lose everything else”
-bernadette devlin
—–

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