4am & blogging

it’s 4am & i’m blogging.
for several reasons really, and i hope they all make their way out onto this screen.

i got lauryn hill’s “i just want you around playing loudly – hoping not to wake those who sleep softest.
got the cranberry juice in the glass – thinking of adding vodka.
& i got the red velvet cheesecake sitting in an aluminum tin with the cupcake i never touched from desserts with @loveydayz at clydes in gallery place.

—–

it’s columbus day.
not only did the murderous bastard ‘discover’ a land that was already occupied by a people who lived the way god intended…
columbus also ‘discovered’ genocide.

& i’m all for holidays – just those that celebrate the causes i follow.
sidenote: september 11th was mumia’s day first.

i’d rather not celebrate greed & violence.
i will call the children in my family currently being taught by men and women who believe columbus is a great man, and i will tell them the truth!

fxck christopher columbus & his ocean blue.



—–

‘i’m tell you all
it all falls down’
-lauryn hill

she said she and i should write a book.
us being exes and all – we’d be great if we wrote a book discussing our relationship & relationshipS.
i agreed.

so i put a few thoughts down on paper – showed her – and she disapproved.
she said i should write the truth.

she said:
you are like harper stewart. you put these b-string bxtches in a box & the minute they walk outside of that box – you’re done.


and i thought back.

and she kept talking:
as soon as they start doing shit you don’t like, you’re over it.
you and i were in love once, right?

i said:
yes.

she kept talking:
and one day you weren’t in love with me anymore.
and because i’m beautiful, smart & sexy i can’t help but trace it back to that day i asked “what is it about me you like?”

and i replied:
i told you never to ask me that, though.
why does it matter other than you want compliments.
it’s like when asagai asked beneatha what it was about american girls that made them required to live off compliments.
if i’m with you – i’m with you.
if i didn’t want to be here, i wouldn’t be here.
that should be enough.

and she said:
you’re so fxcking stupid. you’re going to lose the one you love the most with that attitude.

and i said:
the one i love the most would never ask a question i told her not to.

and we sat there looking stupid – listening to lauryn hill – and pumping our fist hoping everyone gets free as defined by us.

—–

and the people still are not equal.

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