headed to new york city once again to make a few dreams happen.
my life is getting to the point where there is not a fine line between ‘meeting’ & ‘kicking it.’
and i’m going here to do one or the other.
when i return i will have figures in my head and a dream to focus on.
so my homegirl asks: how will you know when you’re successful?
from 2003 up until a few weeks ago i was living by diddy’s definition.
diddy says he knew he was successful the first time he flew with no luggage.
i loved that. it was fxcking awesome. that statement means something, man!
but i was sitting there trying to figure out why i want to be successful & why i want to reach the level of success i’m aiming for.
and i called my mom to let her know i loved her, and it hit me:
*i will know i’m successful when i call my mom at work, and tell her that today is her last day*
“see i’m a hustler’s hope. i’m not his pipe dream.”
“when they speak of success – i’m what they might mean”
so next month i will be three semesters away from being able to officially call myself a scholar.
it almost feels good. i was starting to lost sigh of the light that hangs at the end of this fxcking tunnel howard university has made.
of the countless days i’ve had this semester, it’s safe to say i spent at least 80% of those contemplating dropping out of school. but something kept pulling me back in. sometimes i’m mad at whatever it is that’s been pulling me back, but sometimes, i love it.
and as fxcked up as it sounds, one of the main reasons i stick around is because i talk a lot of shit about a lot of people, and having ‘dr.’ attached to my name givs a lot of leeway there. and when they talk shit about me, there will be a lot of shit they won’t be able to say.
and then there is her.
she makes me feel like a square sometimes. like a lame ass dude – but i know that much is far from the truth.
but it’s cool because i think she’s starting to dig square guys.
well – not so much square guys – but me.
she digs me. and i can dig that.
so i told her i’d keep that smile on her face if she promised to only keep my small planet bright when need be.
she said ‘ok’ and giggled.
that girl is dangerous.
she reminds me of the days i call ‘good old’
and she knows it – and laughs ever chance she gets.
i’ve broken all my rules for her.
i’m a law breaker – not a rule breaker.
i’d rather shoplift in walmart than tell her i miss her
but i have. and i do.
i miss her.
so when she reads this blog she won’t be shocked at my words because i tell her this as often as i can.
she’s ‘words of affirmation’ & i’m ‘acts of service’
and she’s interested in a writer. a man that creates sentences and catch phrases hoping to catch her attention before she considers squares un-cool.
so words of affirmation come daily.
and if i forgot to tell you today – i say it now:
the smile i wear on my face to match my handshakes, hugs, and jeans, are all because of you – beautiful.
“There is nothing that a woman has to do to get a man to commit. The man who sees that special spark in her, that only she possesses, will not expect her to be anything other than who she is. And he will value, appreciate, and love her for it.” – hill harper (thanks)
i started this blog to try to inspire as many folks as possible
& to teach the lazy how to hustle & grind.
and i find that i’m also forcing myself to push harder.
i’m not sure how many of my readers are filmmakers, or entertainers, or what have you – but this past weekend i found myself shooting 4 films in 3 days.
now, for those who may think that is easy…
my schedule began at 1pm friday afternoon & ended around 1am sunday.
i don’t remember the bed, or closing my eyes – just the waking up parts.
but i did it.
with the help of great filmmakers, writers, directors, actors, and the like.
and if you live in DC – you, too, woke up saturday morning to a beautiful day & sunday morning to a warm day and you knew you had to get out for the day.
how many of you made life happen this weekend?
how many of you stayed home watching your favorite shows – making the dash between your birth and death date mean nothing?
i exit with this:
love and succeed with no limits. abandon inhibition & be.