we.stood.still

i was showing her a photo taken by robert doisneau in paris.
he titled if le baiser de l’hotel de ville.
i was telling her how one day i’m going to make the trip to l’hotel de ville and re-create this photo.

and then we stood in the intersection of church st & tampa ave in orlando
and this photo was taken.
and it’s become my favorite picture. and maybe i don’t need to go to paris to re-create such greatness. i can frame this and find room for it.

i made the 13-hour drive to orlando friday for the florida classic.
not for the game because in real life i couldn’t care less about the wildcat football team this year.
they fxcking suck! although we did beat howard who i fxcking hate.
well – hate is an effed up word – but i dislike.

and i have pictures to prove this weekend happened.
to prove the greatness of it all.
but the things i will remember most exist only in my head
& maybe on the rental car report.

it’s getting cold for real (for real) now.
i’m kind of hype. i got this fresh ass coat and some shxt to go with it.
doing it big this winter – wearing my new happiness & the coat my happiness helped pick out.

oh shxt!!!!

so i rocked my new look. NOTHING but compliments were given. the greatness of it all. i loved it.
i’m kind of hoping more photos exist of the fits.
we’ll see right?

and then there was the party saturday where the asshole police officers of florida wanted to flex power.
if i could kill a cop and get no punishment at all – that officer would have been taken out.
and that’s not a negative statement – it’s just me speaking.

actually – there will be no more negativity in 2009 & NONE AT ALL in 2010. as soon as it shows it’s ugly head – it’s erased from the life i created. the life that took the cliched blood sweat and tears. but mine aren’t metaphorical – nor do i speak in symbols.

it’s sad to see shoulda-been success stories.
those who once ruled the world but now wake up to empty full sized mattresses and no missed calls.

i don’t answer my phone often – but my missed call list lets me know i’m still relevant someplace.

there has to be something that rips your heart apart when you’re sweeping the streets you used to cruise & run when you reigned supreme. there must be that voice in your head that cries when you don’t want the world to see you do it out loud – every time someone asks “so what have you been doing since high school/since college” and you have to tell them “nothing.”

those shoulda-been success stories.

and i remember when i felt sorry for those who didn’t succeed.
when i believed so many people fall victim to their environments.
but then i succeeded in spite of my environment. and i do NOT want to be seen as an exception. i want to be seen as the rule. so i succeeded and i pull everybody UP who asks.

there’s no one alive or dead that can say i didn’t help them out when they asked.
there’s no one alive or dead that can say i didn’t show up when they needed me most.
that’s the shxt i take pride in.

here is where i am an exception: i maintain control of my soul on my road to success. most toss them out believing it’s a requirement because there MUST be a moment where we all sell-out.

i’ve never sold out for success.

when they ask “what have you been doing” – i smile and tell them to have a seat.

Advertisements

One thought on “we.stood.still

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s