new soul. learning.

i’ve spent more time watching planes depart & arrive in the past month than i’ve spent in the comfort of my home.
it’s the life i signed up for, i know – but damn.
can there be a break between tragedies, love stories & random visits south?

god only knows.
and a few of my followers on twitter (@abednego_jones is me on twitter) have asked if they could have my life.
the thing is: they don’t know i’d happily trade lives with them for week.
they’d die, though. this life is built for me & me only.
it’s kinda like when a white man goes to certain parts of subsaharan africa. they have no chance of survival.
same story here.

so i’m working on a new soul.
learning a bit about how to give & take.
learning a bit about what is true & fake.

fxck the remainder of ’09.
using the next month to destroy so that rebuilding can begin at the beginning.

so i’m sitting in a fort lauderdale airport smelling like i just fell in love with a beautiful red bowlegged girl – fine as all outdoors.
when in actuality, it’s this glazed donut and orange juice that’s creating these splendiferous aromas around my lips.
but before 7:20am, she did exist there as well.
and i suppose parts of her will exist on my macbook pro keyboard until we meet again.

it’s time to go home.


i brought the kid back to his mother’s place of birth sunday morning after his week in virginia.
it was great spending time with the clone.
his birthday was last monday(23rd) and it was funny watching him have so much fun getting older, and listening to him scream “i’m excited” over and over. i remembered the days when birthdays used to be great. they’re still fun, but not as fun. there are no more transformer helmets or remote cars to play with when you’re my age.
i guess there could be, but nope.

that’s my little dude. i allow him to work on his own thoughts and develop them.
and reach his own conclusions.
when he’s seven i’ll start sharing my thoughts on life – love – politics & religion.
and answer any questions he may have about whatever.

and i’m working on allowing his future to dwell is my past so that i may live brighter nows. (sw)


now let’s talk in hypotheticals:
hypothetically – if i tell you not to do something because it could result in bodily harm or perhaps even death & you do it – do you not deserve to die or be severely beaten? i mean, look at manolo, scarface’s main dude. he had to be taught a lesson.


my line brother called me with news of his father’s passing.
i only have one line brother, so of course it’s the same line brother who called me barely a month ago to tell me of his girlfriend’s passing.
i told him i’d completely understand if he went crazy for an undetermined amount of time.
i recommend it. just fuck up some shit, and be unapologetic.

pray for him
and then there’s my imaginary friend: my ego.
he’s returned. for those who haven’t been properly introduced to him, he’s a bit of an asshole.
his performance has not yet caught up with his ego, but it’s almost there.
he returned saturday night while in the barber’s chair in charlottesville.

and before the flight boards, i must wrap this up…
but more blogs coming soon. perhaps from my ego.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh he is such a darling! And so beautiful!

  2. bfears says:

    your son is beautiful

  3. soulcypher says:

    Good Life by Kanye West was playing in my head as I read this.

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