the biggest decision

i went to bed editing & woke up editing my film:
the field nigger & the buchenwald jew

a racially charged conversation between a black man & a jewish man over a game of chess.

i finished this afternoon, and as i type this, i’m burning it to a dvd for the world to see.
i’m actually happy with this first cut.

this happiness is actually based on the fact that today is my last day in one of my classes.
praise god!
and i have a presentation due monday – a paper due wednesday and my winter break may begin.
you already know where the days will find me: someplace warm – “swimming in women with their own condominiums.”

actually – pause that. swimming with her in the atlantic ocean.
that is all.


who is HER, so many of you have been asking since reading the last few blogs.
her is her.

because we are who we are & because we’re building what we’re building
we don’t discuss our affairs with the tabloids.
it’s just what we do.

so maybe she DOESN’T really exist
but if she does – there are two people who have proof.


“back when i was trying to put a ring on alicia’s hand”

(i actually don’t know why i wrote the above quote, but i like that part of the song)
#random shit

so i finished editing – ate some chicken fettucini by stouffer’s (nothing comes closer to home) and took a shower.
damnit, i’m running out of lotion and the hair around my edges are growing back and my face is breaking out in a few places, but it’s cool. all that can be fixed.

then i made the most important decision of my day:
what cologne will i wear?

if there weren’t so many dudes running around trying to figure out what i wear so they can wear it to, i’d tell you what i have.
but there are already three people walking around close by that smell like me because i opened my mouth about my shxt.

but the decision was made and already 6 compliments.
i ride elevators for the hell of it.


and this weekend to celebrate my parole:

jackson, mississippi
and new orleans.

friends, drinks, flights, hotels, the color purple & a few “fuck you, howard university” quotes.

get like me.
florida next week, i’m thinking.
waiting on the word.


and with this cold ass wind blowing outside this tech lab window – i remember what my teacher said:
“maybe you should learn a trade.”
i’ll teach his ass.

so now i’m working on degree #3 – film #3 – city #12 – and trying to get one more hater to help push me a little further.

but i don’t want my hater to be a loser. i want a hater with degrees and goals and achievements under his/her belt.
it’s similar to when i pray at night:

dear god,
make my enemies strong.
because if i am defeated – they will know i put up a fight.


so that’s what it is, folks.
keep up with me.
i’ll keep it fresh.

One Comment Add yours

  1. soulcypher says:

    i love it man. i love the determination and the drive. i’m a big fan.

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