naima : poem 7

30 poems in 30 days
day 7: april 13, 2010
(photography by kwesi abbensetts)


i wasn’t sure how long she’d wait
so i loved as hard and as fast as i could in case we needed to redefine forever
i gave her the best ten years in a matter of minutes
in the end we had grown accustomed to each other’s face and living lifetimes in weeks
we must have been born again seven times between dinner and breakfast
she’d fix the wrong bacon when we stopped speaking
and laugh as i bit into it knowing i cared more about my soul than i did her
she didn’t understand the whole pork thing
they never do
but i can speak volumes lectures and tongues on jesus
around her mom she’d turn into peter
i didn’t exist in real life
not after she found the emails love letters phone logs and pictures
none addressed to her
none mentioning her
pork and church followed each encounter
in the name of jesus i stopped sleeping with other women
i’d come home when i got tired
makes no sense to wake up nailed to a cross she carried
happily she carried
and just short of 9 months i was born again
despite his current self
despite the shoes with shards i left behind and the beds i’ve burned
i was born again
and i will not be my god
but i will give him one to believe in
the book wasn’t strong enough to hold the door open for me so she left
there are no corners waiting on us to meet
i wasn’t sure how long she’d wait
and my sense of time is now all fucked up
if forever is now what in jesus’ name is seventeen minutes
put your phone on vibrate and put it in your lap
i’ll call when i’m coming and you can come too
i’ll be there in 5 minutes

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