And you will have to be fine with this:
Tonight was the first time in over 12 years I went into the theater to see a “black film” with no reservations, worries, concerns, or already knowing I’d be leaving with the feeling of giving up. No side eyes needed, I have not been silent, so this should come as no surprise.
I was not disappointed, but inspired. I want to hunt down Theodore Witcher and beg him to do it again. Create again. No pressure. I think we can make ambitious films again.
I have only two negative things to say: y’all could have kept that Olivia Pope line; the billboards look like a Gap/Old Navy ad.
No foolishness, no coonery, and easily a universal story. And being so emotionally invested in them (thanks to our 14 year relationship), I almost dropped fluid from my eye.
Way to go cast and crew. Now it’s time to make good “race-themed” (you will not be forgiven USA Today) film again on this side of the tracks.
I lost a friend once for what seemed to me like no good reason. He told everyone else that I was out there in the world doing unethical things. Perhaps true, but it was nothing I hadn’t been doing since 1986. I let him go with no words or rebuttals because I found new circles of folks who lived. That was 2006. I forgot he existed. I forgot we were once always seen together. This week I learned of his unethical life. His second child is on the way, neither belonging to his wife, both to his mistress; the first conceived on his wedding night or days later.
I lost a girlfriend because of facebook once. She wanted to be plastered on my wall like missing puppy posters. She offered no good argument, and I offered no compromise. I loved her, and I know how much I loved her, but I was not sacrificing anything I had previously offered her for new beliefs developed in her conversations with friends who knew more about our relationship than I did.
I’m losing a younger cousin to cancer. It’s not quite fair. The young people who die should have seen the world. They should have the chance to compare Mcdonalds burgers all around the world, and meet some stranger on a Canadian highway who’ll become a notch on the bedpost or the owner of a couch they’ll crash on whenever they’re in Montreal. It’s not fair to be 27 and dying having not seen the sun set on architecture you’ve only seen in Level 3 Spanish textbooks. But it happens, and we have to continue to believe in martyrs.
I’m losing my mind to this new artist I was recently told to listen to, and there may be no recovery. I am not yet ready to lose her to the masses, so I will only share with Janna and Danielle, and they’ll love it and not share it until they are done with it.
I want to gain something today. What do you have for me?
Winter is coming, and while most of my friends back east will go on and on about the snow piling up on their stoops and porches, I’ll save my complaints about the broken dreams piling up all over LA, getting in my way when I’m just trying to get a sweet potato latte before starting this next screenplay.
LA, while very sandal-oriented, is not for the lazy, weak, sensitive or those who never learned to hustle properly. I’ll make friends tonight at some bar, and Sunday they’ll be headed home on a greyhound or Craigslist rideshare. I have friends who’ve come to act who disappear just as quick as the first audition is over, or they become other things forgetting their reason for coming. “You sir are no actor,” I told one. “Your 9-5 has labeled you an insurance salesman.” And there’s nothing wrong with selling insurance, but you could do that in West Bumfuck, Alabama where you came from, and leave Los Angeles to the proactive.
Be what you came to be. Do what your family and friends who troll your social sites believe you do. Stop the people you need to speak to on their way to the restroom if that’s where you find them, and tell them how much it would behoove them to have a small chat with you. Times have changed since Gladys Knight sang “Midnight Train to Georgia.” You will be on a Greyhound with a crying baby, sitting next to a snoring fat man who stinks. Your lover will not leave with you because you were unable to handle the pressure that come along with the life you asked for. That lover will be at the club where you met them looking for someone with bigger dreams.
“I don’t like Los Angeles. The people are awful and terribly shallow, and everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to play the game. I’m from New York. I will kill to get what I need.” – Lady Gaga