Those “If You Can’t Find Anyone Else” Friends

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While the 90’s and 00’s babies, and the few 80’s babies who haven’t matured, screamed “no new friends,” at the top of their lungs in the club, on the street, and in the subway stations, I was brunching on the eastside with beautiful new people I met in a meditation meetup. More weirdos to add to my collection of those who nod their heads when I read them Gregory Pardlo poems in some bohemian bookstore in Downtown LA. I’m the habitual friend maker because I’m perpetually losing folks to foolishness.

The latest casualties have been those friends who let “if you can’t find anyone else to help you, call me back” slip out of their mouths like a good gleek. “If I didn’t need you now, I wouldn’t have called you,” I say, waiting for the long sigh, listening as the lie/excuse pursues freedom from the mouth. Here is where I’ve seen my growth. Years ago, I would have waited the full ten seconds for them to push out the bullshit. Now I respond with “nevermind” before their lips can part.

I imagine this world is too screwy a place to not be surrounded only by people you can count on to be there like a condom or a parachute.

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2 thoughts on “Those “If You Can’t Find Anyone Else” Friends

  1. That steams me too. People who know me well know that I tend not to ask for favors anyhow. But when I do call on you for something, I really, really need your help right now. Telling me you’ll help me if nobody else will do it is the last thing you’ll ever get to say to me, because I won’t be calling on you for anything else in the future. I don’t need people like that in my circle.

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