“Do Y’all Get Along?” and Other Silly Questions : Happy Father’s Day

1. My son has two fathers. Not in the ABC Modern Family Cam & Mitchell sense, but in the old school, biological parents didn’t work out and decided to move along separately for the best, of course, sense. The follow-up question to “Where does your son live” is always “Do y’all get along?”

What should be considered a dumb question is actually pretty valid. What shouldn’t be applauded, is. “Of course we get along. Why wouldn’t I get along with the father of my child?” Strange question, but that’s who he is. You have to genuinely ask, “Why wouldn’t you love someone who loves your child?” The more I have this conversation with folks who have children, the more I see how complicated some lives are. Of course it wasn’t always the easiest situation, but that small hiccup was short-lived, and of course none of that had anything to do with the kid, and everything to do with the ego, and that had to be destroyed. We grow. You then look and see a child who’s lucky to have two fathers who love him, and an even bigger family, and what can be wrong with that?

2. With big eyes and raised eyebrows, they ask, “Your son’s mother lets him come to you for the entire summer?” After I explain that I typically split the summer with my parents because they tend to love to kidnap him and do country-living things, I explain that my son’s mother’s son is also my son. There was never a situation where we even needed to discuss when he’d spend time with me because as pretty decent decision-makers, we knew whoever he was with, he’d be as safe as humanly possible. Why have a child with someone you wouldn’t want in the child’s life for long periods of time?

To those who may need it:
Father’s Day, at least where I’m from, already comes with bad jokes and awful stereotypes. What if this Father’s Day, or tomorrow if it isn’t too late, egos and negativity are sent to pasture to die, and the well-being of all children is the priority. Mend broken relationships and start new ones, make a phone call and start with “I’m sorry,” if need be. You can’t say you want what’s best for your child and in the next sentence say what you’re not willing to do to achieve it.

Happy Father’s Day.

One thought on ““Do Y’all Get Along?” and Other Silly Questions : Happy Father’s Day

  1. My parents were married but divorced after nearly 20 years together. They remained not just friendly, but also good friends until the end of their time on earth. Sometimes I wonder why they didn’t stay together, as they got along so well and always showed such a genuine interest in each others’ welfare. You’re right, that it’s important to make good decisions about your life’s mate (particularly if there are kids involved) so that if you don’t end up staying together, you won’t end up with a nightmare you wish you’d never met. Man I’ve heard many horror stories.

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