The Fraternity as Therapy

17457518_10100541843019875_1040004132940352411_nThe fraternity as a self-care tool

We showed up to one of the greatest weddings we’ll ever attend, celebrated our brother and new sister, and we laughed, telling stories and jokes, recalling each time in college and after when we all connected over foolishness, drinks, and women. We leaned hard on the Coat of Arms.

The wedding ended and my brothers and I spent all the following hours and days recharging, updating, and loving each other; the heaviest conversations over plates and glasses and on beaches and rooftops. It was therapy. It was brothers being brothers.

My Night @ The Oscars: 6 Things

  1. It was painful to sit in a room and watch a group of mostly creative people decide to hand an award to a slightly above mediocre artist who doubles in life as a molester over an amazing artist who’s entire career led him to the work he’s just shared with the world. Every role Denzel has ever played has led him, again, to Troy. Unfortunately, when Black people play Black people, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences don’t see it as a great feat or accomplishment. But when a white man plays himself (sans being a rapist), dynasties should be constructed?


  1. I’m big on meditation and being mindful. I sometimes YouTube Viola Davis’ speeches, close my eyes, and listen to her talk on loop. To listen to her live, to be within close proximity while she speaks life into the bodies of all who are listening is to be…blessed and highly favored and know that Black woman is God.


  1. Tears rarely touch my face outside of a yawn or plucking a nose hair, but I know if Mahershala Ali spoke three seconds longer, I would have required tissue or my Hugo Boss tux sleeve. It was me watching a man who’s across his life path. It was me watching me. The last time I felt this feeling was in a California desert after an Ayahuasca ceremony.


  1. I remember playing cards with my Grandma Irene Elizabeth Jones, listening to her tell her friends about how I was going to be a film director one day. It wasn’t something she quite understood, but she was happy about it anyway. I remember asking my high school theater teacher if I could use the theater at lunch to do table reads and rehearsals for a film I wanted to make. I never made that film, but I dreamed big. I remember all the couches I’ve slept on and the people who owned and currently own them. I remember who fed me and who loved me and who fought hard for me in my absence. This night was the night all Black folks in attendance nodded at each other, knowing what we had to do to get into the building, knowing we belong there.


  1. I had an epiphany. No one did it alone. I need a team of amazing dreamers, wishers, hopers, and magic bean buyers.